Slow Down You Crazy Child
by CSINYLovexx4ever
Summary: House has to babysit Rachel during a thunderstorm? What could that entail? Oneshot - Complete


Slow Down You Crazy Child - A House FanFic

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**A/N: Since I got a good reception on my last story I decided to start another one. This idea has been bouncing around in my head after reading some of the other stories on the site. House/Rachel story because I think it would be cute to have him be somewhat human and interact with a kid. Song belongs to Billy Joel, House belongs to the creators and nothing belongs to me which is why I'm broke.**

The storm was raging outside. The power continued to flicker on and off, the wind was whipping the trees aroud, the lightning was flashing, the thunder was booming and the rain was pounding the walls and ceiling with a vengeance. Where was Cuddy? At the hospital finishing up some budget thing. Where was House? Sitting on Cuddy's couch drinking a beer and trying to watch a Soap he taped but the picture kept flickering. House was stuck at home because Rachel was there in bed. She had went to bed a few hours ago which is why House was not happy when he heard the small patter of feet coming into the living room.

"House" he heard and turned around to see a scared looking Rachel, her PJ's all rumpled, clutching a blanket that was dragging along the floor. "It's scary outside. Where's mommy is she here?" House took another quick glance at her and rolled his eyes. "It's not scary and no Mom isn't here so go back to bed." House sighed a bit when he heard her footsteps coming closer and felt the couch cushions move a little. "House it's really scary out there. Can I please stay out here with you." House being how he is, always making smart remarks, started speaking to her in song lyrics. "Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you're so smart tell me why you are still so afraid?"

Rachel looked at House with her face screwed up a little. "House you're being silly and I'm still scared." She said with a pouty face. House rolled his eyes again. "Doesn't your mother listen to any good music? That was Billy Joel." Rachel cocked her head to the side as if trying to figure out if she knew that name. "I know a Billy Walker. He's in my pre-school class. He's a butt head." House shook his head. "The word you are looking for Rachel is idiot, or moron, I'm not particular. Would you like to hear a song?" Rachel's eyes got wide as did her smile and she nodded her head vigorously. House stood up and walked over to Cuddy's piano and Rachel followed. House sat down on the bench and Rachel climbed up beside him. House was a little pissed that Cuddy's piano wasn't as nice as his, but it would do for the time being.

House started playing a slow melody and Rachel watched him with her eyes wide. Despite his cranky demeanor Rachel loved him. She liked spending time with him and she loved it when he played the piano. Softly House started to sing along with the melody he was playing.

_Slow down you crazy child_

_You're so ambitious for a juvenile_

_But then if you're so smart_

_Tell me why are you still so afraid_

"House I'm afraid because thunderstorms are scary!" Rachel said sitting up taller at the piano bench and receiving a disapproving glance from House. "Runt I wasn't talking about you, it's a song. You know like your big purple dinosaur sings. Only this one comes from a true piano genius from New York instead of some psychopathic animal on crack." Rachel giggled even though she had no idea what that meant.

_Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?_

_You better cool it off before you burn it out_

_You got so much to do and only_

_So many hours in a day_

"House you're silly there's no fire. Just lightning!" Rachel said to him giggling again. "Kid it's called a figure of speech. It means why are you in such a rush. It's like you little rugrat, you run around here all the time and try to do a million things at once. Just like your mother come to think of it." House laughed a little at that one. Even though Rachel was adopted she was a Cuddy through and through. "Mommy can do everything, she's super Mommy!" Rachel said smiling at the thought of her mother. "You think that now kid, in a few years you won't be saying that." House told her as he continued to play the song.

_But you know that when the truth is told_

_You can get what you want_

_Or you can just get old_

_You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through_

_When will you realize, Vienna waits for you_

"House I'm not old, I'm only 4. You're old you're like a million years old!" Rachel was collapsing into another fit of giggles. "Hey runt I'm not that old, I'm 45 thank you very much, that's not old. You want to know who's old? Your mom is old. She's a hundred." House said with a defiant smile. Any opportunity to pester Cuddy about her age (or her ass) he seized. "She is not a hundred she's 38! You're older than her!" Rachel got a confident smirk on her face. House hated getting bested by anyone especially a four year old. "That's right Mommy is only 38. I must have been thinking of Wilson then, now he's really old." This sent Rachel into another set of giggles and another verse of the song for House.

_Slow down you're doing fine_

_You can't be everything you want to be_

_Before your time_

_Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight_

"I don't know what that means House." Rachel said contorting her face. "It means you can't be a doctor at four years old kid. Gotta go to school before you can do that." Rachel bopped her head from side to side thinking about this. "What does that word mean… momantic?" She asked him thinking about it real hard. "Romantic means being in love with someone or something." House was shaking his head. For a smart kid she was rather dumb sometimes. "Like you and Mommy!" House nearly choked on his own spit! "Your mom and I aren't in love we just… like spending time together." House was slowly trying to get out of the commitment trap the Cuddy women seemed to like to entangle him in. "Nuh uh you and Mommy are really in love. You hug her all the time and kiss her when you think I'm not watching. And you say stuff that makes her turn pink. You love her!" House shook his head. It was better not to respond to that and make him lose a month or two of sex from the older Cuddy.

_Too bad but it's the life you lead_

_You're so ahead of yourself_

_That you forgot what you need_

_Though you can see when you're wrong_

_You know you can't always see when you're right_

_You got your passion, you got your pride_

_But don't you know only fools are satisfied?_

_Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true_

_When will you realize, Vienna waits for you_

"House what does that part mean?" Rachel asked him rocking back and forth on the piano bench. "It means only idiots are ever really happy. You can dream things but don't expect them to happen in real life." House looked out the window at the rain drops still falling knowing this in essence was his motto and his mantra for life. "So when I have dreams they'll never be real? So the monsters and the ghosts and the witches will never be real?" Rachel asked grabbing on to her blanket a little tighter thinking about the characters of her nightmares. "Nope runt those things aren't real and are never going to be." House was just about to start playing again when Rachel tugged on his sleeve and he whipped his head around to look at her. She was frowning, possible because he was giving her a rather evil stare. "So does this mean my good dreams won't happen either. Mommy won't be home with me all the time instead of at the hospital, and your leg won't get better and you'll never marry Mommy and be my Daddy?" House launched into full panic mode inside his head with that question. Say the wrong thing and he ends up having to commit to marriage. Say the other wrong thing and he could lose Cuddy forever. The kid was known to blab, he had to say something. He had to say the right thing. "Well kid it's not likely Mommy is going to quit her job at the hospital, and there's no way my leg is getting better. Some day your Mom and I could get married I guess but don't tell her because it's our secret. Even if I'm not your dad I can be your best pal right? The one who lets you watch cartoons, and sit at the piano and eat ice cream for dinner and hide stuff from Mommy and play jokes on Wilson? Is that good enough for you?" House held his breath as he watched Rachel think about it. "Yeah that's good for me."

Slow down you crazy child

Take the phone off the hook

And disappear for awhile

It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two

When will you realize, Vienna waits for you

"House what's Vienna?" Rachel asked yawning. "It's a town in Austria. Listen runt you're getting tired and the storm it over, you can go back to bed now." Rachel yawned again and shook her head. "No I'm not tired I want to stay up with you!" House got off the piano bench and helped Rachel down and they both walked over to the couch. "One cartoon got it? Then off to bed for you." Rachel smiled and nodded her head and settled down into the couch at House's side. She used his side as a pillow and was asleep within a few minutes. House wasn't far behind her. He put his arm around her and shifted his leg up onto the coffee table and drifted off to sleep.

When Cuddy got home from the hospital around midnight she was met with such a cute sight. Rachel and House were cuddled up on the couch, TV blaring and lights off. He was snoring slightly and she was smiling in her sleep. Cuddy walked over and touched House lightly on the arm, rousing him from sleep. "Hey, you guys fell asleep on the couch, I'm going to take Rachel up to bed." Cuddy said quietly and reaching for Rachel. House sat up and shook his head. "I'll take her, just give me a minute to wake up." House slowly stood up from the couch and balanced Rachel on his left side while trying to steady himself on the right side. Cuddy grabbed for his arm and together they put Rachel to bed. On the walk back to their room House started humming the song he was playing for Rachel earlier. Cuddy smiled and asked him what it was he was humming. He told her it was a secret but if she must know she could ask Rachel in the morning. With that he climbed into bed and drifted back off to sleep leaving Cuddy wondering what went on here while she was at work.

**A/N: Well that's that. I love Billy Joel and I know Hugh/House plays the Piano on the show… thought it fit. Reviews are so loved xxoo**


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